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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

 

Wacky Definitions!!!


School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.



Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.


Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.


Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.


Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.


Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"



Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.



Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.



Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.



Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.



Father: A banker provided by nature.



Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.



Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.



Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.


Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.



Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.


Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.


Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.



Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.



Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.



Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.


Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death


 



Monday, January 21, 2008

 

Fwd: India can buy virtually 7 developing nations.



---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Vaibhav <vaibhavgupta28@gmail.com>
Date: Jan 22, 2008 11:06 AM
Subject: India can buy virtually 7 developing nations.
To: "LittleJohny. Blogspot. com" <vaibhavgupta281.littlejohny@blogger.com>


 

Shock for the Nation!!! (Believe it or not)
Do you know that India is the richest country in the world!

 

 
Right now, India is the richest country in the world! Wondering how? It's really amazing.
 
It's due to Mr. G Vaidyaraj, who donated all his wealth, about which he actually did not know.

He is a descendent of Raja Krishnadev Raya from Mysore district.

For the last 300 years or so, three stones were worshipped in his house.But nobody tried to see what it was, except this person, who is a
lawyer by profession. One day, when there was nobody in his house, he took the stone out to see what it was that they worship.
Due to the dust deposited on it, from many many years, it looked only like a simple stone.
But when he touched it, some portion of the stone was cleansed.
And he saw a bright ray of light.
He saw something which attracted his attention. And he was amazed when he cleaned all of them.The whole room was filled with light.
He discovered they were diamonds of about 4600 carats each.

He informed the Govt. of India and the news is censored with its security.
It's now deposited in a Swiss Bank.
The cost of single diamond exceeds the GDP of USA + UK.
India can buy virtually 7 developing nations.
Even World Bank does not have enough money to buy it.
One diamond costs thrice the debt of World Bank over India.
One such diamond can buy 10 Bill Gates to you.
And the World Bank has proposed the Indian Govt. that it can pay India in Installment if it wishes to do so.

India's GDP is 34.25 billion dollars.

Bill Gates property is 95 billion dollars approximate so that is the way 'nature changes'.

Our Prime Minister has refused to sell it.

He said it will be sold or mortgaged for credit when we need it. Otherwise right now we have no problems.

You can go through Times of India with a small column on it a week ago.

Star TV presented a 115 min documentary on it about 15 days ago.

The Hindu with its half page article in it.

After that it was censored as classified.

Another good news is that in the Desert of Thar a deposit of Oil and
Natural gas have been found. This stores what Kuwait has in its stomach.

India can go with this ONGC energy reserve with another 30 years.
And moreover it can export it to other counties.
It's incredible!! But true.

An Indian boy in his 12th standard has disproved Einstein's 'Theory of Relativity'.
Shocked? Read on...

Sudarshan Reddy has theoretically proven the existence of a sub-atomic particle, which can travel at speed greater than that of light, thereby challenging one of the fundamental postulates of the 'Theory of Relativity'.

In his recent research paper submitted to the Institute of Advanced Physics (IAP) at Trieste (Italy), Sudarshan has proved the existence of a class of sub-atomic particles called leptons', which can travel faster than light.
The international physics community is shocked by this discovery.

Dr.Massimo Martelli, President of the IAP has this to say about the paper submitted by Sudarshan. 'After long, careful and critical
analysis, I can confidently say that Sudarshan's re search papers show tremendous leap in our understanding of physics. His investigation
mounts up on 'leptons'. His work builds substantially on the work of Einstein and others in the field of relativity.'
When physicists from Princeton University tried to measure Sudarshan's IQ with an IQ-meter (at the American Embassy in Delhi), the meter broke down.
Sudarshan, incidentally, is the brother of Madhu Reddy, the Indian whiz kid who developed an operating system superior to Microsoft Windows.
We should all be very proud of these boys.

Please forward this email to as many Indians ………




Wednesday, January 16, 2008

 

How Star Says Sorry !

The way people apologise and their style of saying sorry depends a lot on their personality and zodiac traits.
No wonder Leos embarrass you when they say sorry while Arians will actually annoy you with their apology?...

ARIES
For starters, Arians think they are so sweet,they could not have possibly said or done things that need an apology. So in the unlikely possibility of them actually going down their knees to apologise, it will be a simple sorry.Nothing less, nothing more!!

TAURUS
They are so scared to face others when they make a mistake that by the time they resurface to tender an apology, the damage is done.So Taurans end up making foes out of friends because of their laxity in apologizing

GEMINI
Geminis think they are infallible and therefore will never really apologise for anything. But once they realize, they prefer to act as if nothing happened, and behave normally with people who have a problem rather than remind others of the incident by tendering an apology

CANCER
Cancerians will make you feel sorry for demanding one when they make a mistake. They are the legendary characters that burn hands and slash their fingers in order to display the quantum of their repentance. Their repentance is dangerous!!

LEO
Leos are a delightful bunch even when they are trying to make up for their follies. They will go down their knees, buy flowers, put up sorry posters.. do everything colorful to flatter you and make up for their mistakes. In fact it's fun to induce them to make a mistake and let them apologize for it

VIRGO
Virgos will first formally set aside a time and date and inform them what they want to tell you. Then they will mentally prepare themselves to talk out the same things. They will finally draft the script and read out whatever they want to. In short, even their heartfelt apologies sound like well-drafted scripts

LIBRA
They are very vocal once they realize their folly. They never ever hesitate to come clean and admit their mistakes. In fact, they will go out of their way to convince you about how genuinely sorry they are.

SCORPIO
Scorpios are formal and think that tendering an apology is more of a formality. So instead of just saying sorry, they will send a formal mail or send a card, whatever it takes to avoid direct confrontation.

SAGITTARIUS
Sagittarians don't believe in being sorry or apologizing. For them, it is human to err and therefore saying sorry is just redundant. Interestingly, even if others make mistakes, they are pretty cool and don't expect much from them.

CAPRICORN
They can't take a simple sorry. They need reasons,explanations, written letters and the works to get elicit an 'ok, you may go now' phrase. They are hard to please and even harder to appease.

AQUARIUS
They are sweet, genuine and innovative when they think they are wrong and need to undo the damage. Aquarians are easy on their mistakes and don't take too much time to do their sorrying.

PISCES
Pisceans don't easily give in because they believe that everything is about perspective.
So if somebody thinks they made a mistake!!, it's because they have a wonky perspective.
Pisceans and apologies? No chance!!!


Monday, January 7, 2008

 

Fwd: Enjoy

One day the teacher came to class with a rose placed
in her cleavage.
She asked, "Can anyone tell me what roses drink? How
about you, Johnny ?"
"Milk!" answered Little Johnny.
"No, I'm sorry. That's the wrong answer. Roses drink
water," explained the
teacher.
"Wow!" Johnny exclaimed. "I didn't know the stem was
that long!" 


Wednesday, January 2, 2008

 

Fwd: Fw: Happy Morning - Some pictures must be shared!

 

Love comes in all sizes....


Your Friends will support you....



And respect your creativity
For thinking outside the box....



They'll be there when you need a
Shoulder to lean on....



Or a great big hug....




A true friend takes interest in
Understanding what you're all about....



They see beyond the black and white
To discover your true colors.....



And accept you just the way you are.
Even when you just wake up in the morning



So make your own kind of music....


Follow your heart wherever it takes you....



And when someone reaches out to you,
Don't be afraid to love them back....



They may just be a friend for life....



Practice patience and tolerance.....












Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave.
And impossible to forget!

 

 


 
 
 

 

 


 
 
 


 
 
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